WARM YOURSELF WITH WINTER TREATS

For Japanese, it is customary to do thorough cleaning, finish up leftover work and settle all business affairs before starting the New Year but on top of that, December is party season, making it quite a busy month. In addition to western Christmas and New Year’s parties, Japanese people customarily hold bonenkai parties to celebrate the year’s end. Bonenkai can be celebrated with anybody, from coworkers, friends, club group members, to parent circles. Also, the style of bonenkai can vary; big or small, formal or casual, a few hours long or overnight. It’s not unusual for a person to experience 10 parties in one month or to go party-hopping during a single day. The Japanese party system is different than those in the west, so if you party Japanese style this year, there are a couple of things that you should know beforehand in order to minimize embarrassment to yourself (or someone else).

What is the best dish to end the party with?

It’s a habit among Japanese people to have carbohydrate dishes like noodles or rice dishes at the end of the meal. But how about desserts? Chopsticks NY did a survey asking 60 Japanese people living in NY which item they prefer at the end of the party: carbs or desserts.

The winner is actually desserts. 37% of survey participants chose desserts over carbs while 24% prefered carbs over desserts. But it is interesting that 23% were willing to eat both carbs and desserts. There was a difference in responses between genders. The first choice among males is carbs (42%) and that among females is desserts (44%). Some females commented that they swing between carbs and desserts, depending on the type of meal, the situation or the mood.

The most favorite carb dish is by far ramen followed by fried rice. Those of dessert are creme brulee and ice cream, something not too filling.

Beginner level:

Casual Party at a Japanese Restaurant

If you plan a Japanese-style party in a Japanese restaurant for the first time, you might encounter some unusual customs. It’s fun to be surprised, but you might as well know the system to maximize your enjoyment.

The first thing you might be startled with is the oshibori, a wet towel on a special plate served before the meal. In some restaurants, the servers even unfold the oshibori in front of you and hand it to you directly. When you finish cleaning your hands with the oshibori, you should put it back on the plate or on the table if there’s no plate. The servers usually take the oshibori away before food is served, so there probably won’t be a napkin for you to use during the meal.

The order of dishes served is a bit different from western style. The starter dish is called otoushi or tsukidashi and is so small that you can finish it in one bite. But don’t worry about the size of the rest of the meal. The starter dish is traditionally served before the appetizers in order to keep customers’ hunger at bay while their first meal is being cooked. Next is an assortment of appetizers, with a more satisfying portion size. There might be a couple of different appetizers before going into the main part of the meal. The Japanese party course is programmed to entertain and give pleasure to the customers, so it incorporates a variety of flavors, hot and cold, and many different ingredients. The biggest difference between the western and Japanese style party course is the end. Japanese generally eat some kind of carbohydrate dish at the end of the meal such as udon, soba, ramen, zousui or onigiri so don’t fill up too much and be sure to leave room for the carbs at the end.

In less formal or smaller parties, people often pay in warikan, which means splitting the total amount evenly. No matter how much (or how little) you eat and drink, you have to pay the same amount as others. The system is not fair for people such as non-alcoholic drinkers or those with small appetites, but it’s a custom. Nowadays some people apply a new system, setting two standard prices, one for alcohol drinkers and another for non-alcohol drinkers. But there is still no distinction between big eaters and small eaters, and big drinkers and small drinkers.

O-zashiki; a Japanese style private room

O-zashiki is a private, tatami mat room where you can enjoy authentic, Japanese atmosphere to the fullest. It usually has a tokonoma section used for seasonal artwork, calligraphy, ikebana arrangement, ceramics, etc., adding traditional elements and enhancing the Japanese ambiance. In restaurants, o-zashiki is often separated from other dining areas by setting the room about a foot higher. When you enter the o-zashiki, you should take off your shoes and place them at the corner of the entrance, having the toes pointing outwards. In the case that you have to leave the room to use the bathroom or make a phone call in the hallway, you should use the slippers provided by the restaurant as this avoids messing up the shoe arrangement.

Typical ozashiki setting. Tokonoma is located in the interior of the room (seen on the left part of this photo). Photo courtesy of Hakubai Japanese Restaurant at The Kitano New York

Advanced level:

Joining a Big, Formal Japanese-style Party

Joining a big, formal Japanese style party is a step more advanced than simply being served a meal in a Japanese restaurant. You might experience cultural confusion if you don’t know the manners. Arriving on time is an important part of Japanese custom, for example. Here are a couple of things that help you to stay out of behaving unintentionally ill-mannered:

The Japanese toast, or kampai, is conducted at the very beginning. This is one of the reasons why people should arrive on time. You can drink whatever you want during the party, but in a big corporate party or banquet in Japan, people generally have the same drink for kampai, which is usually beer. From the second drink onward, each person can order his/her favorite drink. For kampai, as soon as all the participants’ glasses have been filled, the highest ranked person of the group (or another designated person) will make a brief greeting before giving the kampai. When doing kampai, you should clink your glass with those around you. It is considered good etiquette to toast with as many people as possible, but if it is a huge group it is okay to clink only with those around you. One thing to keep in mind is not to drink your beverage before the kampai.

As the party proceeds, the drinking pace of each person begins to differ. In Japanese culture it is considered taboo to pour your own drink. One pays attention to how much others are drinking, and if they find someone’s glass almost empty, they will offer to fill it up. It is important not to leave a glass empty until the end of the party. However, there are cases where someone might not want to drink anymore. It is hard to guess how someone feels about drinking, so it is safer to ask them beforehand, by saying “Mou ippai ikaga desu ka,” which means, “How about another drink?” Make sure to monitor other people’s glasses and not just your own.

In closing the party, especially an official one, people do tejime or ceremonial handclapping. Tejime employs a certain type of rhythm which everybody has to clap to. There are several different rhythms depending on the corporate culture and region. Ippon-jime and sanbon-jime are two of the popular ones. It is important that everybody’s handclapping is in sync, it might be better to practice in advance. Usually the highest ranked person in the group is designated to conduct the tejime.

Unless it’s an enkai ryoko or a party trip, the formal party usually lasts 3 hours or so. After the party is over, most people then go to a niji-kai (literally meaning “second gathering”), or post-party party. The niji-kai is more informal than the first party, and not all of the group members always participate. For example, people who want to drink more might choose to go to a bar, whereas those who have had enough but want to enjoy each others’ company might go to karaoke. It is common to have subgroups depending on everyone’s interests. You have to know what you like to do in this situation and not be swayed by the many options. Some people even go to a sanji-kai, or “third gathering”, as well. The group members get smaller and smaller as the night goes on.